When you are growing up you probably had a people tell you to speak a certain way. One that comes to mind was: “Say: ‘Pardon me?’, not ‘Huh?’ or ‘Eh?’.”
People knew that what you said could change the way others look at you. More recently, I’ve realize that the words I use influence many of my own behaviours. If I can sum up one profound lesson I’ve learned this past year it’s this:
Words Have Power
How you think, and phrase things, has a lot of weight in how you live your life. The words you use in your daily living have a lot of impact on the outcomes in your life.
Changing Words Can Change Your Life
One of the best examples of this was when I met a very successful business woman in Atlanta. She told me that her success started when she was only 5 years old.
Her story went like this…
“I remember coming in from outside and I was trying to do something, I think it was a cartwheel. I tried and tried but no luck. When I came in, I had tears running down my face and I looked at my mama, and said ‘I can’t do it’.”
My mama took a deep breath and said, “We don’t use that word.”
I remember her tone. She said that to me like I had just cursed. She looked disgusted. Like I said the unimaginable.
Then my mama gave me this life changing advice.
“Anytime you want to use the word ‘Can’t’ I want you to ask the question ‘How Can I?'”
From that day, I’ve always asked myself that question “How can I?”
I didn’t put limitations on myself. Whenever I hit a wall or felt like saying “Can’t” I would remind myself of that talk with my mama and ask “How can I”. It’s made all the difference to me over the years.”
It was as simple as changing the way she spoke.She would go on to build a multi-million dollar business.
How many times have you come across something and told yourself you can’t.
How would your life change if you started to ask yourself “How Can I?”
The 2 Words That Can Destroy Your Finances
We all have different ways of speaking, but the words we use can empower us or harm us. There are 2 words (really it’s more like two and half) that have done more harm to my financial life than anything else.
“It’s only”, along with their sibling sayings “It’s just” and “It’s not” are words that have gotten me into a ton of trouble over the years. I use them everyday:
“It’s only an extra $5 to upgrade”
“It’s only a $200 monthly payment for the next few years”
“It’s not that big of a deal to upgrade for a few bucks”
These little words have a ton of power. The power to destroy my finances.
What’s REALLY Happening When You Use Those 2 Words
Sure a $2 coffee won’t be the end of my budget. That’s not the point.
The point is what’s going on inside me. I noticed a strange thing happened when I used those two words. I realized that when I would say “It’s only” my mind would turn off to the cost of that item for some length of time, if not forever.
When you use these 2 little words, your mind shuts off to their value.
When I see people who have trouble with money it’s not always the giant purchases that are tripping them up. Often it’s all the little ones that are adding up that they don’t realize are making a difference.
Whenever you say those words, or even think them, you mentally check out. Any thought with those two words immediately disarms you. You think: “Yeah it’s not so bad, it’s just a couple of bucks. It’s not that big of a deal.”
And you are right it’s not.