This month was our first full month being debt free. No more loans, mortgages or lines of credit. It’s been great, but it wasn’t what I expected.
The past 5, 10… ok all the years of my normal adult life have had some sort of debt attached to it. Being debt free is a touch surreal, mixed with a lot of awesome, and if I’m being 100% honest, a touch of disappointment.
Why the disappointment?
The 1% disappointment comes from within. I have been building up debt freedom in my mind for years.
While we were climbing out of the “debt hole”, we told ourselves over and over: “Once we are debt free it will all be different”.
But it’s not different.
It’s still the same routine. We get up, go to work, cook our meals, shuttle kids around to activities, and wonder what happened to the weekend every Sunday night.
Nothing has changed.
I made the mistake of thinking that debt freedom was an ending. Only to find it was just another memorable moment in this wacky journey of life.
I’m not saying it’s bad, but debt free… it’s not what I thought it would be (that could be a line in a really bad country song).
Debt Free Perception Versus Reality
When you are going after a big goal, it’s a good idea to give yourself an amazing vision to shoot for.
This vision can serve as a guiding star. Something to turn to when you are feeling the weight of a long journey. When I created this ideal of debt freedom in my mind I made it a BIG vision.
I had visions of me with my family sitting on a beach enjoying the good life.
That is not what has happened.
The debt free vision I created doesn’t match my reality. It’s not that it’s bad, it’s that I thought it would be different.
I should have managed my expectations
It’s always about expectations. I thought, foolishly in hindsight, that being debt free meant that I would be free. I thought that we would be able to jump on a plane with my family and go somewhere nice the day after we were debt free.
But that’s not how it has started out.
Can you give an example?
Sure, and thank you for asking!
In fighting to meet our goal to be debt free this year, we used every resource we could to get there. This meant depleting all our accounts from our money system
We are out of debt, but our cash reserves are low (which is a nice way of saying non-existent).
Now we are trying to get a solid footing in our accounts before we do anything big.
We would have loved to go on a trip to somewhere warm over the Christmas break, but we didn’t because we didn’t have the cash to go.
My wife and I had many conversations about going somewhere to reward ourselves for these past 7 years. In the end, it always came down to the same thing: I don’t want to go into debt, to celebrate getting out of debt.
Did I want to go somewhere warm? Yes!
Did I feel like I deserved to go somewhere warm? Oh yes!
Did I go somewhere warm? No.
In the end we settled on Grand Forks, North Dakota, because it was close, and we could afford it. In the end, a blizzard and a flu knocked out any family plans we had on going anywhere.
Foolishness: noun
1- lack of good sense or judgement; stupidity.
2- celebrating being debt free by going back into debt.
Sure the timing could have been better. If we were debt free in September we would have a few months under our belts and felt better off financially. But the reality remains that a trip right after you get out of debt, will put you back into debt.
I can hear what you are thinking, and yes, we could have used a line of credit, or a credit card. But that would be defying the point of what we have been working towards.
Out of Debt. Not in the Clear
Just because we are out of the “debt hole”, doesn’t mean we are in the clear. We won’t be until in the clear until the hole is far enough behind us. Once there is enough space (in the form of savings), then we can start to do some of the things we have been craving to do.
If I’m being completely honest travelling, at Christmas feels like a price gouge. Everyone is travelling at the same time and you pay a huge premium for that. It’s not to say I’ll never do it, but it’s a premium trip for sure.
Was Becoming Debt Free Worth It?
Yes, it was worth it. I wouldn’t change what we did to become debt free. We are both fortunate and grateful to be in a position to make this a reality.
The problem was all my own doing. It’s the way I viewed it.
I made the choice to view debt freedom as the “end all, be all”. A little more thought and I would have realized that debt freedom is the beginning of another chapter.
It’s my own fault for thinking life would change overnight. Change, like most things, takes time. The results of what we are working towards will start to show up slowly over time.
To clear things up, I’m ecstatic to be debt free. If I had to do it all over again I would do it. The past 7 years have set us up for a much better future.
All I’m saying is that the 1% disappointment is my own fault for thinking the world was going to change overnight.
If you are working towards something big, I encourage you to think about your expectations once you achieve this goal.
In the end it’s a moment in time, once that moment pass the question will always be “What’s next?“
What about you? Have you ever achieved a goal and found it to be a let down? What did you do to overcome it?
Related Articles
- Debt Free Living: What it’s really like
- How we became mortgage free
A Simple and Easy Way to Manage Your Budget
Want more mortgage tips?
I had two thoughts that you’ve overlooked about being debt-free (seriously, so awesome!).
1. It’s not all about how you feel now that you’ve paid off the debt but how you’ll feel when you are possibly faced with a situation in the future where your debt would have severely limited your choices. You can live on so much less when you don’t owe anything to anyone else.
2. Just think how much faster it will be to build up your net worth in the NEXT 7 years when you’re paying all that money to yourself instead of a majority to interest and a small portion to principal. It’s going to be awesome and I can’t wait to follow along!
That’s a great point Kathryn! Sometimes being stuck in the moment you tend to not think about how you will feel years from now. Thanks for the great comment!
Congratulations on becoming debt free! You should have a little party to celebrate 🙂
I think it’s important to define what your end goal is. What will becoming debt free do for you? Is it so that you can travel each year? Achieve financial freedom? It’s a stepping stone to achieving a bigger financial plan!
Thanks Francesca with everything going on we never did get around to a proper celebration. We did manage a dinner out but I think a proper celebration is definitely in order. We are trying to define what this new freedom will mean for us going forward. I think it will be a combination of financial freedom and travel.
Congrats on being debt free. An amazing accomplishment! You should be proud. I’m not sure if I ever feel a let down after accomplishing a goal. I think there is always some sense of success bi or small. When we become debt free I know I felt the stress lift from our lives.
Thanks Brian! We do feel humbled to be able to be debt free at our age. The lack of stress is a big thing. In a lot of ways we have normalized being debt free very quickly. You will get there and I love reading about your journey.
Huge congrats!!!! Just think of the momentum you’ll be able to have now as you build up your savings. Woohoo!
Thanks Laurie! I’m looking forward to building that momentum!
It’s certainly an anticlimax when you clear the debt you want to. I loved your article-in particular the point about managing expectations! Well done though-amazing job!
Thanks Vicky. It’s all about managing your expectations, while at the same time giving yourself something that will push you forward.
Wow. Andrew, this is a great article. I consider myself warned about how I will feel in Jan 2018. Truth be told, I already know that in order to meet my debt payoff deadline of Dec 31, 2017, I will have to take a chunk out of savings. These are savings that I am currently putting aside in case I need cash for an emergency (my fund was very recently depleted by an emergency). Assuming no more emergencies are had, I will be fine to use the funds to meet my year end deadline. If there is an emergency, I’ll have to implement plan b (assuming I can figure out how to sell a kidney or something).
Having said all of that, it is going to feel really amazing to be debt free even with that 1% that kinda sorta sucks. 🙂
Thanks for such a great article. I really enjoyed it and found it very helpful.
Thanks Jackie! Debt freedom is really a fresh start and besides that 1% (which is decreasing every day) it’s great! I highly recommend it if you can arrange your finances around it.
Wow, you have really fought hard for your debt freedom! That’s a long time to be fighting so hard! I feel you on it not being this all powerful overnight sensation. But, I will say that we worked hard to celebrate our following year of being debt free with 3 paid for vacations and that helped make it feel awesome! After that, we were able to build up savings because we weren’t paying it all to the creditors in the form of interest and paying for things that we’d already become bored with. And then, we were able to purchase, not one, but two cars in cash without going into debt and now drive nicer cars that we own outright that are nicer than any other vehicles we’ve ever owned! And lastly, last year, we were finally able to go down to one income so that I could stay at home with our two girls and be a big part of their world everyday! It didn’t happen overnight, but these things have all stemmed from us being debt free. It’s a gift that keeps on giving over time and becomes sweeter with age.
Here’s what I think when I become debt free (mortgage will be the last thing) – my life will change because my savings will be going up so much faster. After just a few years of not having a mortgage, I can just see how awesome those savings/investment accounts will look! Hopefully that thinking keeps me away from the disappointment part because I’m already looking at it as the beginning of the next step.
That’s a great way to look at it Kimberly, having that next goal in mind is huge. Since writing this we have started towards our other goals and it feels much better
I went into debt at 18 with my first credit card (and no job) and have never gotten out of it in the last 20 years. From there more cc debt, student loans, and car loans. I momentarily became debt light in my early 30s when I had no car payment and no credit card debt (still had student loans although greatly reduced). That lasted about 6 months. I bought a house with my meager savings. Then went into debt about 30k fixing it up. I have now paid down that debt to about 15k balance and was on track to pay that off this year… but now my car is dying. So I am looking at a car payment for the first time in a long time to the tune of about 15k. So it’s not an expensive car loan but still it throws off my calculations. It’s very hard to get out of debt and just as hard to stay out.
Wow Rob, thanks for sharing. Debt is a tricky thing to get out from under. It’s like an undertow the more you try to escape the harder it tries to pull you back in. Keep at it, eventually you will get there with persistence. It sounds like you have made great strides already.