“Am I a good parent?” This question dominates my every thought. I feel like I’m never measuring up to my gold standard of parenting. I’m going to switch things up, because this is important to get out.
Recently, I came across a recent Facebook post about how we as parents have a lot more to concern ourselves with.
I’m not sure if that is true or not. As a parent I feel like there is more to do now, but I wasn’t a parent in the 80s to know if it was truly any different, for better or for worse
What I do know is that being a good parent is constantly on my mind. Questions like Am I succeeding as parent? Am I falling? How can I tell? are with me all the time.
Finally, I asked someone who’s considered an expert with kids how to tell if you are a good parent. The answer gave me peace of mind and I want to share it with you.
First a couple of things I took away.
Being a Good Parent Doesn’t Mean Buying Your Kids Everything They Want
It doesn’t mean you are bad parent if you spoil your kid either.
Filling their room up with toys that they want on a whim and never touch again is not a qualifier for being a good parent.
If you have ever left a store with a crying kid because you wouldn’t buy them the latest toy, that doesn’t make you a bad parent.
For what it’s worth that makes you a better parent in my books!
Kids that get everything usually don’t know how to want things bad enough to go after themselves.
Being a Good Parent Doesn’t Mean You Are Your Kids Best Friend
Kids need structure and discipline. This is a tough one to swallow.
Because that makes you their disciplinarian.
They don’t need a friend that gives them everything they want.
They have those, we call them grandparents.
In fact, if your little one tells you that you are a bad parent, it’s a positive.
You’re doing a good job.
That doesn’t mean you should be a task master either. Eventually your little ones become adults. You will want to foster a friendship through out your life with them.
In no way is this easy, but it’s something to keep in mind.
Being a Good Parent Doesn’t Mean Buying Your Kids The Fanciest Clothing
Your kids will always want the latest and greatest everything.
Wanting things, , is a healthy function of life.
If you want things and don’t get them handed to you, then you have to figure out how to get them for yourself.
That creates independence and creative thinking. Whenever you go without you get creative and think of ways to get what you want.
Don’t take this away from your kids by handing them everything the want.
Plus…
They grow out of clothing quickly and it’s rarely worth it. (Sorry that needs to be said at least once)
Let others pay for the high end stuff and get your kid to learn to shop at the stores like Platos Closet and Value Village.
Then they will appreciate the $120 sweater you just told them they can’t have.
Being a Good Parent Doesn’t Mean Giving your Kid the Coolest New Treats
In my day (yikes does that make me sound old) we got by on oatmeal cookies, ham sandwiches and a juice that would have made the Apollo astronauts cringe.
We turned out ok…ish.
Don’t let the media and branding let you think otherwise.
Your children need nutrition. They do not need fancy sugar packed items that have a cartoon character on the front.
Sure they might put up a fuss once in a while. That means you’re doing something right.
Here is How You Can Tell You Are a Good Parent.
Your a Good Parent Because You Are Worried You Aren’t A Good Parent
That’s the simplest answer.
Bad parents don’t care if they are failing their kids.
They don’t read articles like this one, or bother with these types of thoughts.
They simply don’t care if they are a good parent or not.
When I spoke to this person they said, that the parents who were worried about their kids and if they were good parents all had good kids.
Every. single one of them.
It was the ones who never asked about their kids that had them stressed out.
Bottom line: Keep trying to do your best, some days are better than others. We all have those days.
Congratulations! You Are A Good Parent
So congratulations you are a better parent than you think. You are actively looking for ways to be a better parent.
You try your hardest and that is what matters.
Parenting is a lifelong career that we all have in common. Just because you feel inadequate doesn’t make you a bad parent.
I would think that feeling that way is what makes you one of the best!
Looking for more parenting articles? Check out these ones:
We’re all in this parenting thing together. Share if you think this will make someone’s day!
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I guess I’m a good parent too! You make a good point that bad parents don’t even ask themselves if they are a bad parent. A friend of mine is a teacher and she always tells me that parent-teacher night is a waste. All she does is tell all the parents of the good kids how great their kids are. The problem kids whose parents she would like to talk to don’t even bother to show up.
You are spot on about the bad parents. Congratulations on being a good parent. 🙂
Haven’t had kids yet, but my wife and are I planning to in a couple of years. I think being a good parent is the hardest thing in the world. There is no clear right or wrong, and it’s only “right” with 20-20 hindsight.